More Funny Pick-Ups Chem Geek Style....hehe enjoy

You are an acid and i am like litmus, everytime i meet you i turn bright red.

You’re so attractive, i cannot help but form hydrogen bonds with you.

My love for you is as strong as a covalent lattice .

Let’s get married and live a life like monosaccharides-sweet and simple.

If only you and i could form a redox cell, the potential between us would be mighty high .

You make me hotter than sulfur hydroxide mixed with ethyl acetate.

Why the electronegativity?

You must be a good benzene ring, because you are pleasantly aromatic.

I have mass. You have mass. We’re naturally attracted!

Our chemical reactions give way to interesting products.

Could you tell me the oxidation state of this atom and your phone number?

If I could make any compound, I would make uranium iodide, so I could put U and I together!

My favorite element is uranium, because I love U!

My name? Bond. Covalent Bond!

I’m a conjugate acid, you’re a conjugate base .Let’s hook up and create conjugate pairs.

Hey there girl, it appears to me that you are one of the major sources that increases the entropy .

of the universe. You see, you are hot and the heat you are releasing is making our universe more disordered.

Do you wanna join functional groups with me, and let me release a water molecule?

Is that a open valency or are you just happy to see me?

Are you uranium? cos you’re the bomb.

Hey, are you an alpha carbon, because you look susceptible to backside attack!

My favorite mechanism is backside attack. And you?

Let me show you my schlenk line

Your lab or mine?

What does it take to get over YOUR activation barrier?

I feel a bond between us!

Do you want to extract some protein from my column?

Baby are you an electron because you charge me up!

Honey, were like a galvanic cell, theres obviously electricty flowing between us.

You know, I’ve got one hell of a mass-charge ratio.

I have recently discovered a very rare element called Beautium. I looks like you are made of it.

Mind helping me with my experiment?

My favourite attractive force is van del Waals’ force. Can you feel it? I’ll sit closer if you can’t.

I’d really like to titrate with you.

Cows ....So yummy

There are some amazing drivers out there

Okay so I know I am really not one to talk about driving but these just made me feel good about driving and that really says something so I just had to share these with you I just donno how some of these are even possible pretty crazy.

Pun-tastic

A man walked into a bar and sat down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?" he asked. "No." A few minutes later the dog took a huge chunk out of the man's leg. "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" he said indignantly. The other guy replied, "That's not my dog."

For the Chemist in me

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, 'I think I've lost an electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first says, 'Yes, I'm positive...'
A hamburger walks into a bar, and the bartenders says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve food here..."

Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy...

A guy walks into a bar. "OUCH!" he said...

A man walked into a bar, sat down, and ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer, he heard a soothing voice say "nice tie!" Looking around he noticed that the bar was empty except for himself and the bartender at the end of the bar. A few sips later the voice said "beautiful shirt." At this, the man called the bartender over,"Hey...i must be losing my mind," he told the bartender. "I keep hearing these voices saying nice things, and there's not a soul in here other than us." "It's the peanuts" answered the bartender. "Say what?" "You heard me" said the barkeep."it's the peanuts... they're complimentary."

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amahl while the other goes to a family in Spain and is named Juan. Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother and upon receiving the picture she tells her husband she wishes she also had a picture of Amahl. "But they're twins," says her husband, "If you've seen Juan you've seen Amahl."

A guy goes into a nice restaurant bar wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in -- just don't start anything."

These two strings walk upto a bar... The first string walks in and orders and the bartender throws him out and yells "I don't serve strings in this bar... The other string ruffs himself up on the street and curls up and orders... The bartender shouts, Hey, didn't you hear what I told your buddy?" String says "Yeah." Bartender says, "aren't you a string?" ... String says, "No, I'm a frayed knot..."