If I were

If I were a month, I'd be March (In like a lion out like a lamb), because I can’t quite make up my mind, and something awesome is just around the corner, the darkness of winter is nearly over.
If I were a day of the week, I’d be a Tuesday- I love Tuesdays, they are still productive days but not Mondays and not super awesome like a weekend but still cool
If I were a time of day, 10:10pm- cause its pretty sweet
If I were a planet, ---Mars, I feel like I would fit in there
If I were a sea animal, Dolphin- would be super fun
If I were a direction, East---towards the Ocean
If I were a piece of furniture, Crotch Hair Couch ……HAHAHAHAHA
If I were a liquid,---Diet Dew DUH!
If I were a gemstone, ---- Emerald, I love green….life, happiness, spring and money xD
If I were a tree----prolly a Banyan Tree just cause they are super awesome
If I were a flower, I’d be a Snapdragon, I am a prankster that loves to make ppl laugh
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be sunny and 75 =) with a giant thunderstorm for a few hours of the day
If I were a musical instrument, I’d me a banjo xD
If I were a color, I’d be green xD
If I were an emotion, I would be Joy
If I were a fruit, ---Banana
If I were a sound, I would be Thunder
If I were an element, Technically I am mostly Carbon, Hydrogen and Oxygen, but if I could pick I would be Plutonium caz it is rare, radioactive, and super cool. If you mean the whole spiritual element thing I would prolly be Earth- tend to be pretty calm cool and collected…kinda goes against the whole Plutonium idea but oh well
If I were a food, ----PIZZA!!!! DUH
If I were a place, ----That’s a hard one Africa, am I allowed to be a whole Continent?
If I were a material---- Flannel :P
If I were a taste---- Mint =)
If I were a scent----Freshly Baked Bread
If I were an object---- and iPod touch
If I were a body part------hmmm not sure gonna go with an eye
If I were a facial expression, :-P most deff
If I were a song, oh man only one ….drats…gonna go with what faith can do by Kutless
If I were a pair of shoes, slippers !

24 Random Things

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4 and write the sentence here:
"It was all madness, but it was their madness and they figured it was no worse than anybody else's.

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What’s there?
Dew, that's convienant ;)

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
I honestly can not remeber, I think part of Aurther while I was at work yesterday morning

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
4:05? .....Yes off my a min...well really I think the computer is off I am always dead on :P

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

.....Yes off my a min.4:06..well really I think the clock is off, I am always dead on :P

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Does music on the computer count? Pandora is playing, my mom walking back and forth/ up and down the stairs/ my sister watching TV down stairs, text messages coming in, my dog walking around, wind outside, cars driving by, neighbor mowing, birds outside.....think that is most of it

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Bout ten mins ago, was sitting admiring the few rays of sun while they lasted

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
I don't really know other surveys/ various facebook status and updates I guess

9. What are you wearing?
Jeans and a cardigon

10. Did you dream last night?
Yeah, very strange dreams, very very strange expecially when I tried to incorporate Alfreado's screaming into them...lol

11. When did you last laugh?
Hmmm not certain, prolly in the movies today

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
lots of old time photos of the fam, cute pics of me and my siblings/ counsins, some decore pics and flowers and wreaths and such.

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Well I looked in the mirrior this morning ...I don't think it gets much weirder than that

14. What do you think of FacebookCraze.com?
I don't think of it...I donno what it is even

15. What is the last film you saw?
Jane Eyre

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
I would pay off my loans...not sure I would have much left but I would use it to go to Africa

17. Tell me something about you that I don’t know
Who is this I, you speak of? How and I supposed to know what you do and do not know? Hmmm well when I was 9 I won this contest with my uncle...I forget what it was for but it was on friday the 13th and we one front row tickets to backstreet boys ...but I was only visiting and wasn't gonna be in the area so I couldn't go, the 3rd place team offered to trade for there free pizzas and sodas but my uncle was too proud so we bought sodas and pizza to celebrate then ended up giving the tickets to some gas station attentend taking garbage to the dumpster....don't think most people knew that if you did I will give you another freeby

18. If you could change one thing about the world, what would you change?
Oh boy I can only pick one thing? That is a hard one. I guess I would change our selfishness is that possible? I donno but if I could I would like to I think that would end up changing so much more and fix the vast majority of the issues we have all around the world if people would stop thinking only for themselves.

19. Do you like to dance?
Love to!!! Am really bad at it and have no cordination whatsoever but I love it

20. What do you think of the president?
I think he has one of the hardest jobs out there and could use a lot of prayer.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
I have a list, but I haven't decided yet

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Again I haven't really decided but I really like the name Eli

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
You betcha would love to!

24. What do you want to say to God when you reach the pearly gates?
I Love You, Thank You!!!!!

2010 Budgeting in Review

So I have recently stumbled upon what is perhaps the best website ever created other than this blog and facebook of course. It's called mint.com and you can visit after reading this post by clicking the link in the title of this post. So in discovering this amazing site on top of being plopped into the real world following graduation with a handful of loans and a couple dollars in my pocket I have learned the importance of budgeting if I am ever going to get out of debt before say I die. So in setting up my budget and exploring what I have been spending all my money on this year I thought it was quite interesting and have to admit I was rather surprised by it. So I thought I would share my calculated break down just for kicks.

My number one spender was on wait for it wait for it....Student loans :-P yuck accounting for 26.8% of my spending poopy and I only really starting paying them all this month.

Close behind was for car expenses and care not counting gas at 22.3% of my spending

Next comes gifts/ donations at 14.6%

Then comes Taxes and State Fees/ Tickets an icky 12.9% of my spending

Next gas 12.2% - thats pretty sad

And I have to eat you know 8.4%

The last 2.7% was then on things like toothpaste, shampoo, and clothing

Pretty crazy to see just how much I spent in each of these categories also very depressing to calculate that my net worth was a stunning $73,354.42 in the whole. Donations at this time would gladly be appreciated.

Trust

The Year in Review: Choose a word that reflects 2010 in your own life and explain why you chose it, then pass your review along to your friends and let them do the same.

Last year I remember being so completely in bliss that I prayed that God might take me and give me adversity that I might grown and strengthen in my faith and be a good example to others. I was so happy and everything was going so perfectly in my life that I desperately felt that I wanted something to challenge me and that I needed God to grow me and teach me through adversity. Little did I understand what I had asked when I asked it. But God certainly answered in a way I would never have expected, and although I have gone through so much hurt and pain this last year I am very greatful for all the growth and all the lessons I have learned as a result of this past year.

I will trust Him. Whatever, wherever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him; in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him; if I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. My sickness, or perplexity, or sorrow may be necessary causes of some great end, which is quite beyond us. He does nothing in vain.

In reflecting on all that has happened this year it is shockingly clear that God has time and time again been trying to get me to learn how to trust in him alone. This and coming to the point of being able to trust in God no matter what my circumstances has been the root of all my struggles this year. My "favorite" verse for this year that has continually been put on my heart admist all that has happened in 2010 is Proverbs 3:5,6

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Although I love that verse I would be lying if I did not hate it every time that that the holy spirit put that on my heart this year. And although I would eventually learn to trust in him I would once again gradually slip into going my own way and not totally depending on God and then would crash and come right back to the state of desperation where I would once again have little choice but to trust God as it seemed that was all I had left in the world.

For those of you that do not know my story I will tune you in a bit to just all that happened this year and maybe you can see how clearly God speaks and just how far he went to get me to trust him completely no matter what I am facing. 2010 began rather tragically for me as withing the first week of the year my fiancee of nearly 2 years called off our engagement, our quickly approaching wedding and our relationship all together. Although it shouldn't have been all that much of a shock given the dynamic of our declining relationship I was utterly devastated as I had mistakenly put all my trust in our relationship and had seemly neglected God as I replaced him with this imperfect substitute. This of course was one of the largest reasons our relationship ended up failing as Pat my ex could in no way satisfy my need for God and I in turn was constantly left feeling unloved, neglected, and rejected. The break up only intensified all of these feelings as in that instant of anger our entire lives would completely change as we both knew them. All my future plans went up in flames as they all were based on us getting married and being together I had given up all my hopes and dreams and was going to follow after him. But without him in my life I had no direction whatsoever I was left in the dark completely direction less. To top that all off I was also losing my best friend and the only person I had ever been able to really communicate with and tell everything too. I went from spending every spare moment talking to this guy to being completely isolated. And of course since I had been investing so heavily in this one relationship I had no idea where to turn and didn't even feel there was anyone to turn too.

I knew deep down God was there, but how could I trust God when he had brought Pat and I together and I had trusted him in all that I had felt that God had called us to be together forever and well I insisted that God had lied to me and now I was utterly and completely alone. It was a very very hard first few months and I constantly struggled with not turning to my ex as I would constantly call and beg for a chance as that was all I knew and all I thought I could have. I fell deep into depression and became suicidal. No one knew it as I put on a smile and pretended like nothing had ever happened. Then I confessed to my roommates and they helped with interventions and kidnapping my phone and computer to keep me from falling into talking to Pat. They and my family and my extensive work and school load helped keep me distracted to slowly ween myself off my obsession with this boy. As I gave him up I began to open myself up to God and let him take his rightful place once again.

I got better but I still refused to fully trust God as I just wanted answers as to what in the world I was going to do now. I knew God had plans for me I just could not take being in the dark and it was so hard to trust him alone as I felt like he had neglected to account for the fact that I mess everything up and I felt quite worthless and I was still very distant from God as I still was hurting and wrongfully blamed God for that.

To help fill my void and to feel accepted and loved once again I turned to online dating and began to flit for the first time in my life both online and in person. It may not have been anything over sinfull to the rest of the world but it was totally out of my character and it was a very rebellious act as I was ultimately telling God that he was not worth my trust and that I could get what I needed else where from boys. I slipped and I was very wrong. Although I felt accepted and happy momentarily with those various guys I ended up more broken and feeling all the more worthless and disgusted in myself. I ended up tearing up other relationships I ended up hurting other guys just so I could feel good. I became an addict striving for any kind of attention I could get. And nothing cut it as what I was really longing for was the relationship with God that he so desperately wanted me to have. By may I had done so many things I swore I never would do that I became someone I did not even know. I was able to graduate admits my lack of motivation but was still so uncertain of my future and still had a lot of resentment towards God for leaving me out when in reality all I had to do was open the door an let him in.

Although I was far from fully trusting in God I had come a tremendous ways in those five months and was learning to turn to God rather than boys or work or anything else to find true happiness and purpose. I was far from fully understanding and I was still completely in the dark as to where my life was going to go but I was coming to accept that and learning to trust in God and know that he had better plans for me and that he certainly had a better handle on my life that I did. I began to life my life for God once again. And God blessed me greatly for it he brought a tremendous and much needed peace into my life and then he brought great healthy friendships into my life that have blessed me tremendously. After graduation I very reluctantly followed God back to Binghamton despite having swore to move out. Turns out God had plans for me the one place I didn't want to me.

Back at home God helped me restore family relationships and I have never been closer to my family, God then blessed me with new friendships and eventually a great job in my field none the less. But admits these blessings I was still largely incomplacent and began slipping away from God once again leaning more and more on my own understanding and forgetting all that God had worked so hard to show me earlier that year. On top of my lack of trust in God I had a huge gap in my trust with others and would not let them in and one by one all the relationships God had blessed me with began to fall apart as I denied God his trust and I denied my friendships the opportunity to bloom failing to trust anything or anyone not even myself.

I was left feeling empty as ever and all alone. It was not until I totaled my car July 5th flipping it several times and then being helicoptered in to Cooperstown Trauma center that I would once again realize my dependence on God. God was certainly calling me back to him and clearly but I neglected to give him everything completely there were still things I wanted myself and so I held on and 2 weeks latter I got another and louder wake up call that I needed God and God alone. I said okay but didn't do to much about it. And Crash. I totaled my Dad's van the next week while they were in Mexico. I was left utterly alone and stranded. This time I got the point. I was pretty sure that nothing could get worse and I realized how badly I needed God on my side and how utterly I had messed up. I came back to God and trusted in him once again. Slowly my life came to some asemblance of an order, clearly it was no where near where it could have been had I listened to God the first time. And I was very broken very hurt and very lost and confused and seemly alone once again. It was just me and God and I felt so utterly wrong that I did not even want God as I saw how much I had hurt him and how great he was and how wrong I had been for hating him. I came to trust that he knew what he was doing but not fully as a month latter I acquired well over my limit in traffic tickets from a lot of careless driving and I would panic forgetting once again who was in control. I broke down once again and this time completely gave it to God knowing that without a licence I really had nothing and had no idea what I could even conjure up to fix that. Soon after God provided with a new job that would enable me to work even if I had to lose my licence and courts ruled allowing me to keep it. Truly God's hand was on me. But deep down did I really trust God in everything. No, I was still very much like an Israelite. Yeah that is me alright. And God knew it too. I was willing to trust in God when there was absolutely no other alternative or when things were going well but as soon as I found something that I wasn't happy with I was no longer all that trusting. So God made his point clear once more as I ran into a semi and just barely missed killing myself.

God made it clear and finally I got it, and hopefully I will continue to keep it. Trust in God always! He is good and our own ways will only fail us time and time again. This year has constantly been a reminder of that as well as my falleness and my stubbornness. My hope now is that I will never forget all that God has taught me this year and that I will continue to grow and learn to trust him more and more completely no matter what lies ahead knowing that he has better plans for me then I could ever dream of.

Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is. For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit. The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings

This year was full of my lack of trust in others, in myself, in the future and particularly my lack of complete and total trust in God. I have been so broken and humbled by Gods continual reminder that he is God and I am not. I have lost so many relationships, plans, cars, dreams, goals, money, love etc. On top of that I came so close so many times to losing my faith all together this year, and nearly losing my life as well. But I have gained so much more I have learned what it fully means to depend on God alone and to trust him no matter what your circumstances.

Although the year was scattered with storm after storm, God was with me through it all and he is the only one that I will always be able to count on to carry me through. When my eyes were blind to His presence, my spirit rested in it.
When my heart brimmed over with wept and unwept tears, He caught each one in an ever-ready bottle, transforming them into a healing balm for my soul. When I felt miles away from Him, He would whisper His unfailing promises to me, closer than a heartbeat. I know that I can not escape from God and his love for me and I am confident more than ever of his undying love for me and his plan for my life whatever it may be. I will follow him and trust in him alone from now on. He simply is. And He always will be, just as He always has been. And I am so incredible thankful for my great God.

I will leave you with the lyrics to "What Faith Can Do" by Kutless which has carried me through all of my hardship this year and has pointed me to the truth of God's power and the power of faith and trusting in him. This song had come in to my life in the most remarkable of ways and has touched me immensely and I hope it does for you as well. (You can also see the music video but clicking on the title of this post.) Thanks for listing to all my ramble hope it saves you from having to learn this lesson the hard way as I did.

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you're stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

Overcome the odds
http://www.elyricsworld.com/what_faith_can_do_lyrics_kutless.html
You don't have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

It's not like its brain surgery, oh wait it is, never mind.

So as of October I became a the new laboratory technician at Binghamton University working in the Behavioral Neuroscience department under Lisa Savage. I the first few weeks of my job got me hooked and I feel deeply in love I was getting to do so many awesome things that I never had the opportunities to do at Houghton and I was actually using everything I learned in college. It was like the last four years and 100,000 dollars were not all totally a waste and it was so exciting. Now I was getting paid to do all the fun stuff and have no paper to write and no tests to worry about. Yes truly my job is every graduates dream. I even now have a life insurance policy, health, dental, vision and paid vacation. Truly amazing. And to top it all off I no longer have to spend $150 in gas and 20 some hours driving back and forth to work as I did in my previous job. And since I started I have gotten in no more accidents and haven't gotten any more traffic tickets. Yes I can say that this is certainly a good change for me.


But now for some insight into what it is like working as a lab tec at BU. I have a wide range of tasks. But I am just going to give you a brief insight into what I do as a lab tec.

- I do a lot of ordering things like chemicals, more rats, supplies etc. Biggest thing I learned there is that research is really really expensive.

- I am often responsible for handling (holding, weighting, loving, etc) the rats we run the tests on as well as feeding them

-I have done a few brain surgeries that either involve inserting probes into certain areas of the brain so we can see what role they will have and what role various chemicals have in that region or we give the rats lesions in certain areas of there brain. Below is picture of my first successful brain surgery and will let you see what they look like after a cap has been put on.


- I also will run micro-dialysis on the rats typically the lesion guys were we will run various neurochemicals through the brain using a probe (which is a pain as it breaks very easily) and then test the rats on a maze see if we can teach it to go to a certain arm using cheerios (very scientific) as rewards

- I also do spontaneous alternation running rats on different mazes and recoding which arm they go on



- I cut, stain and mount rat brains to slides which I then cover slip and use to do Steriology were I count the cells in particular regions of the brain to look at various effects notably neurogenisis

- I also am responsible for perfusions and live sacking using a guillotine and sacking, although I haven't been able to do one yet, we will see if I can.



- I am basically the run around person in the lab and will help out with all the experiments going on that the grad students are working on and also do fun things like was dishes clean the lab and various paper work or whatever needs to be done its a very exciting job and my jobs are different everyday which makes it exciting and challenging.

Christmas is in the air

As I woke up this morning I was a bit dazed as always and slightly confused as I am not used to being home anymore and was quite surprised to find myself in my own bed and then to look out the window and see the first snow fall covering the ground. Most likely the latest first snow fall yet this year. Although it means cold and winter is here I was still quite thrilled to finally have some white stuff and the prospect of playing in it it around the corner. And after all its December and Christmas is right around the corner and how could we truly get into the great Christmas spirit without that blessed white stuff to cover up the leaves we missed and the browning grass? Truth be told Christmas simply wouldn't be the same with out it.

As I looked out the window at the snow covered ground uncertain of weather to jump up and dance, go out and make some snow angles, or to pull the covers back over my head and hope that it would melt before I got up, I starting to think about Christmas time and why I love it so much. There are so many things I love about this time of year and maybe you do to. I have come to realize that everyone has very different concepts of what Christmas time is to them and various traditions whether they realize it or not that makes Christmas wonderful. Here are my favorites, what are yours?



As I mentioned Snow has always been a big part of Christmas for me and when I see in on the ground I always think of Christmas time whether it be the hours slaving away at the drive way, the countless snowmen and snow angles Jeremy, Alyssa and I would make over Christmas break. The times sledding in the front yard, snow ball fights or simply just eating snow and trying to make each other eat our home made yellow snow. We have certainly shared so many great memories out in the snow around this time of year and snow just helps at that extra touch of Christmas in the air. Even if I no longer have the hope of snow days to look forward to.

Even more important than the snow though, Christmas for me is only Christmas because of my family and all the times and traditions we share at this time of year together. I know that it would not feel like Christmas at all with out my beloved family. The picture to my right is me and my mommy and daddy on my very first Christmas 22 years ago. There are literally thousands of things that I could list that my family does at Christmas that helps make it so special but most importantly it is just that we are all able to come together an share and eat and talk and play and give and laugh all together and forget the other worries of our lives. My family is full of amazing and very interesting people and I am so greatful to have them in my live and to get to have them all come together at least once a year.


Going off of family I would have to say that my Christmas is defined in large part based on when we get together and where. Until I was 7 or 8 we always got together at my great aunt margie's house up in Binghamton we would get together with all my mom's cousins and relatives and all eat lots of food an then pass out presents and sit and open them all. (mostly us kids) I didn't pay a whole lot of attention to all the old people then other that to thank them for the gifts. After having games an stories we would always go out and look at the big Christmas light displays on our way home an then head quickly home searching for Santa's sleigh in the sky. When we got home without fail Santa had always beaten us there an had left us a note and PJ's and tooth brushes we would then put on our new Christmas PJ's (take a photo of course) then brush our teeth beg and sometimes succeed at getting to open one present before bed and then head straight to our made beds and clean rooms ( that was the one day of the year we had to make out beds) and wait till morning (5am). Then at 4 my brother would always try sneaking out to snoop at what he was getting and make sure Santa had come and wake me up of course and we would beg till Daddy would finally cave in and release all the booby traps that had been set up to keep us in our rooms till morning. We then spent the morning opening gifts always one at a time and taking photos and my dad always had the video camera.

After my great Aunt Margie died some new traditions were put in place as we then went to my Grandma Ritas with all my Dad's family every Christmas eve we would always pick names of cousins before hand and exchange gifts with that person, and then we learned a new gift giving game and always ate a lot and played board games with my cousins.


Another thing I will never forget about the Gould family Christmas is taking family photos usually for our Christmas cards which we always sent out way too many of, and too way to many different photos of in what my mom deemed photo shoots which we of course had to have many sessions of.

Once we moved to our current home we began a new tradition of having a big Christmas party the day after Christmas will all our family and friends playing games sharing favorite gifts, eating of course and just having a great time of fellowship.

Perhaps my equally favorite part of Christmas is giving and just finding that perfect gift for everyone on your list. And then of course all the baking and decorations and goodies to share as well. I just love being able to bless people in that way and love making things for people and this time of year is just a great excuses to be able to give and share with loved ones.

Growing up in a strong Christian home we always but a lot of emphasis on the real meaning behind Christmas and tried not to get so caught up in all the commercial stuff but make sure we knew what we were really celebrating. We would always make Jesus a happy birthday cake and sing to him every year and always read the Christmas story every Christmas eve and go to a Church service of some kind. I love the Christmas Carols we would sing and getting to light the candles in the darkened sanctuary. One of my favorite Christmas quotes is

Let us remember that the Christmas heart is a giving heart, a wide open heart that thinks of others first. The birth of the baby Jesus stands as the most significant event in all history, because it has meant the pouring into a sick world of the healing medicine of love which has transformed all manner of hearts for almost two thousand years... Underneath all the bulging bundles is this beating Christmas heart.

There are really so many more traditions to list such as watching The Grinch and The Christmas Story every year and decorating the house and the tree as well as putting up the lights. I really do love the whole feel of Christmas time. But as this busy season of glee and festivities approach let us not forget the real reason we are celebrating. And this year make sure you take the time admits all that fun and reflect on what Jesus did for us and why he was born. We have a great reason to celebrate!

Krista Update

So as I haven't been blogging in the last 5 months a whole lot has happened in my life, I have been in 3 more major car wrecks, gotten 7 more tickets been through various jobs and relationships and all kinds of other crazy stuff. I hate to have kept you all out of the loop on so much excitement so I am going to go back to my blogging days. So welcome me back and let me know you are reading and you care so I can be encouraged to share more of my crazy self with all you guys. Love you and sorry for deserting you for so long.

Procrastination

So I tend to be a big procrastinator and am doing so as we speek by taking more quizzes instead of doing one of many assignments that have been long over do. Procrastination is a strange phenomenon. Experts define it as an intention to do something, but acting contrary to the intention by postponing it or doing something else. It often seems to be a good solution for making life more enjoyable (by delaying unpleasant responsibilities), but procrastination almost always makes things more difficult and stressful. It may provide temporary relief, but that looming deadline, those extra pounds that need to be taken off, or that annoying visit to your Great Aunt Janice, can't be put off forever. Many people struggle for years to free themselves from its chains in order to forge ahead towards academic success, fulfilling relationships, a clean house, or a healthy body.

Although it may seem as though putting something off until later isn't a big deal, studies have shown that it can turn into a serious habit. Not only can it pervade into all areas of your life, but it can result in lost opportunities, career troubles, unnecessary expenses (e.g. late fees) and even health problems. The tendency to procrastinate may also be the sign of a deeper issue, often linked to Depression, Attention Deficit Disorder, and Anxiety. Perhaps this is my problem - Anxiety Depresssion hmmm sounds a lot like me ....oh well I will worry about that tomorrow....hehe... here are my results in case you are wondering....and do try for yourself just click the title of this post.


Overall results
61

According to your results, you tend to procrastinate in many areas of your life. When it comes to unpleasant tasks, your will often do whatever you can (consciously or not) to avoid them. You may also be the type who of person who will make excuses not to do something, or wait until the last minute to complete it. This may become a serious problem if not addressed.

Yeah I do indeed avoid things I don't like as much as possible I think this is why none of my papers ever get written. Anyone have any ideas how to adress my potenital serious problem?

My Mental Speed

Here is more quiz results for you today's challage was on Mental speed, to compare your own results click on the title of this post and test away it is a lot tricker then it seems I know I made a few mistakes....hehe.

In case you are wondering Mental speed refers to how quickly you can process information and make decisions based upon the facts available. Being able to think on your feet is an asset in a wide variety of situations, as even the best laid-out plans do not account for all problems and obstacles we encounter at work or in everyday life. Therefore, the ability to come up with a quick solution can really come in handy! Even if you did not score well on this test, the good news is that mental speed is a skill that can be trained with time and practice.

On this test my results were as follows....

Accuracy percentage: 82

Your accuracy on this test was excellent - you were able to keep your focus throughout the test. With practice you can improve even more, especially if your timing wasn't as good.


Completion time:
You must have had your coffee today, because you finished this test in record time! Combined with a high accuracy rate, this is a good skill to have. Mental speed is an asset in many situations, and definitely puts you at an advantage under circumstances where split second actions or decisions are required.

All in all I think 82 is pretty good and if I hadn't buzzed through it I would have done a lot better, but I was proud and this made me happy hope it does for you as well.

Memory Score

Today you get to learn about my memory skills.... I got a 74 out of 100 which was surprisingly high and I am excited, maybe now I can find my keys! Hehe my results were as follows for the most part very self explanatory....enjoy!

Your results indicate that you have very little difficulty remembering things. When it comes to absorbing information or recalling details, it appears as though you have quite a few sponge-like qualities. Keep in mind however, that like many cognitive functions, memory does tend to deteriorate with age. The good news is that there are a number of techniques that can be used to improve memory recall, including mnemonic devices (e.g. using a rhyme to recall State capitals), or making visual associations (e.g. remembering your client Scarlet Jones’ name by picturing her driving a red car). Of course, writing things down couldn’t hurt either! Although factors such as fatigue, stress or poor diet can play a role in poor recall, other, more serious causes of forgetfulness include tumors, medication side effects, Depression, and Alzheimer’s Disease.

Emotional IQ

So I told you I would be posting more about my results on the test at So here you go today's test was not as interesting or inspiring as the last one but I figured it was still worth a post and still pretty accurate although I am not so found of admitting these results hehe. But yeah this test was to test my emotional IQ which consisted of 2 parts; a self-report portion and an ability portion. The test assesses your capacity to recognize your own emotions and those of others; understand how best to motivate yourself; become close to others; and manage your own feelings and those of others. Emotional intelligence contributes a great deal to your potential in life. A poor emotional intelligence can hold a brilliant individual back from achieving his or her goals, while a good EIQ can help someone who might otherwise struggle achieve success in life.

My results were then as follows....

For the self report component I scored a 101 which as in the 53 percentile so just about dead average. According to my self-report answers, my emotional intelligence no was extremely good. I would like to attribute this to the low-self esteem issues as discussed yesterday that I clearly have not overcome just yet. People who score like me ,feel that their ability to understand and deal with their own emotions and those of others is just barely acceptable. Emotionally intelligent people have an easy time overcoming difficulties in their lives and they are generally able to control their moods. I will admit I do certainly have emo tenancies and as many can attest I have mood swings a lot. It's easy for emotionally intelligent people to motivate themselves to overcome obstacles and reach their goals. In addition, they find social interactions to be quite easy and fulfilling, for several reasons. They are comfortable allowing themselves to get close with others, and feel comfortable being vulnerable enough to establish intimacy. Again this alludes to my inability to score well on this as I am usually quiet uncomfortable around others and have a hard time opening up to people. They (those with high scores on this test) also report having an easy time offering support to others; likely due to an empathetic nature and a solid ability to offer advice. Perhaps by working on your problem areas, you can become more confident in dealing with your own emotions and those of others.

As a result of this test I really feel like there is once again for a lot for me to improve on and I think the first of which is to do as I posted yesterday and start building my self-confidence and self-worth as I feel this will help a lot in not feeling so bad about myself and knowing that I do have things to offer others in conversations for example. So I am excited for that and glad to be reminded yet again of my weakness as I now know even more things I can start working on.

For the second portion of the test where they actually assessed my ability to assess emotions particularly the emotions of other people I actually did surprisingly well with in the top 90 percentile. So I think that this really shows again how hard I can be on myself and helps me see that I am really good at interpreting others emotions, and usually am pretty accurate about things like that. As I always like to say you can't try to hide things with me I will see it one way or another. This reminded me of a presentation I recently hear in my senior seminar class about distinguishing facial and body language to determine the emotion a person is experience. As universally certain faces and gestures indicate and have been linked to specific emotions. As a big fan of smiley faces in texts and on aim I would certainly agree for instance :-( is sad, :-D is really happy, :-* is kissy, :-P is just being silly etc.

A look into my self-esteem or lack there of

So for my Drugs and Behavior class we have to participate in this Journal Program that is particularly focused on our beliefs and attitudes about alcohol and other drugs/ substances. Since I am really conservative on these issues and cause I am so naive having no experience with any of this a part from a sip here and there and one drink I had the journal is rather boring for a lot of the time and I don't think it is going to help the research much but every once in a while there will be a particularly relevant topic. link or article that they share that will really resonate and actually informing me a great deal. Also they have had several quizzes. And you know my I am a sucker for personal quizzes that will tell me who I am so I thought I would share one with you. There is actually a website full of fun psychology quizzes they shared at and I will most likely end up passing all my results on here for you to see in time. But for now I thought I would share my results of self-esteem.

For me self-esteem has always been one of my down faults I am very hard on myself and am string for perfection and demand perfection and we all now I am far from perfection so this doesn't work. Eventually I realize how low my self esteem was and it made me feel like all the much more of a failure as I couldn't even like myself. I was convinced I was the worst person in the world and yeah not a good time. And still my self esteem is really low... and not all that much better due to circumstances right now but I found my results to actually be a lot higher than I would have expect. Yes I still have low self-esteem but I got a 48%. I find that very positive, could have been a lot lower. My positivity made me think all the more convincingly that maybe I am not helpless and so did the description I received as follows...

Your results indicate that your opinion of yourself is generally positive, but your sense of self-worth isn\'t as strong as it could be. You sometimes put yourself down, falling victim to your own self-depreciating statements. An unstable sense of self-worth can result from a wide range of factors: perhaps you\'ve recently gone through a particularly difficult period in your life, or you didn\'t get the support you needed from others when you were growing up. The important thing however, is not to figure out who/what is to blame; it is to recognize that it\'s now up to you to boost your self-image. There are certain attitudes and beliefs that have been found to contribute to and \"feed\" a negative self-image, and you appear to have some of them. Examples would be believing that you don\'t deserve to be loved or respected, believing that you\'re not good enough for someone, and focusing only on your perceived faults rather than good qualities. While you may not necessarily f! eel all of these things all of the time, there may be a few that are ingrained in your mindset to the point that they are surely affecting your life. You may not even realize it, but these beliefs can discourage you from pursuing your goals, cause you unnecessary stress, and even become self-fulfilling prophecies. A slight change in mindset could really make a difference in your life.

I found these results very positive and I think I am really glad they wrote it like this particularly for all of us with low-self-esteem. But seriously it recognized the obvious that I am too hard on myself and that I think destructive thoughts and that I am often convinced that no one likes me and that I am the biggest loser on the face of the planet. But what this does as well as says how this is not always the case for one and for tow it does not have to be this way there is hope. I can learn to find worth in myself and that there is something there I just mask it out with lies. I feel that recognizing some of the thoughts I feel and learning to dismiss them and learning to see the good and the accomplishments in me that I can learn to work on this and stop myself from falling for Satan's trap.

There was another article that this Journal shared with us that mentioned how many people with low self-esteem may often "fake it until them make it" Where they will act as if they have high self-esteem to mask there low self-esteem. The interesting part of this is that people who do this are far more likely to actually develop higher self-esteem simply by faking it. So I think it is time I stopped living in hopelessness thinking I am nothing. I am somebody and I am special I am God's daughter and if he loved me enough to die for me then I am certainly worth living for! I am Krista and I am something else, now I am going to live it and stop crushing and putting down myself, for I was created to do something wonderful and amazing so now I am not going to stand in the way of doing this great thing any longer. Watch out world here comes Krista in full swing!!!

I also wanted to share with you some tips for improving self esteem from . Hopefully this can help me and anyone else out there that is or has tended to struggle with low-self-esteem.


1. Become aware of and change your negative self-talk. Learn to recognize the self-limiting, self-deprecating things you say to yourself and how to dispute those beliefs and replace them with positive, reassuring statements about yourself. Don’t indulge yourself in self-criticism.

2. Stop comparing yourself to others. There will always be people who are smarter, taller, shorter, thinner, heavier, cuter, more handsome, richer, have better jobs, make better grades, . . . have more of whatever than you do. If you play the comparison game, you’re sure to discourage yourself because you will consistently run into people to whom you’ll feel inadequate. So stop comparing yourself to others – it only hurts you.

3. Make decisions that are in alignment with your values. Behaving in ways that are counter to your own values leads to feelings of guilt, shame and discouragement. Know what is of value to you and honor those principles, regardless of what the crowd does.

4. Focus on your strengths. Make a list of at least 10 of your positive qualities and review your list often. Are you honest? Kind? Generous? Helpful? Creative? Resilient? Focusing on “what is” rather than “what’s not” will change your mood and give you’re the energy and encouragement to persevere.

5. Start your day on a positive note. Ask yourself how you want your day to go before you get out of bed. Imagine it unfolding that way and fill yourself with anticipation that you will be able to create your day the way you want. The attitude you carry into any activity greatly impacts the outcome, so create positive experiences in your life by anticipating that they will be positive.

6. Practice gratitude. Ask yourself “What am I happy about in my life?” “What am I proud of?” What am I grateful for?” “What good is happening in my life right now?” The answers to these questions can be the simple things in life: a beautiful day, enough food to eat, the love of someone close to you, the freedom to go to school to better your life, the loyalty of a pet, the comfort of your bed. There are millions of small things to be grateful for and remembering to recognize these will change the way you see yourself and your life.

7. Make a list of your past accomplishments. These don't have to be monumental successes. They can be anything of which you’re proud, such as graduating from high school, attending college, receiving a promotion, doing well on a test, attending to the day-to-day necessities of life, etc. Read your list often and allow yourself to experience a sense of accomplishments with each item, feeling the joy and satisfaction that came with the initial experience.

8. Take good care of yourself. On a physical level, this means eating healthily, exercising, getting plenty of sleep, learning to relax or perhaps, getting an occasional massage. It also means not overindulging in any one area that would cause negative consequences. On an emotional level, it might mean avoiding negative people and giving yourself the encouragement and support you need.

9. Cultivate a social life. Isolation can lead to loneliness, apathy, and depression so make an effort to include other people in your life. Invite friends out or to your home– don’t wait for them to call you. Become a volunteer with an organization you value – giving to others always takes our minds off ourselves.

10. Don’t take life so seriously. Have fun while maintaining a healthy balance between meeting responsibilities and doing the things you love. Life is too short to focus only on the serious aspects.

A nap like no other

So as many of you know I am not a napper (person that likes/ takes naps). However, yesterday was a particularly long and tiring day, and I haven't really gotten much sleep. Consistently, upon going to the bathroom, to pee nonetheless I colapsed while peeing and too my all time record nap of 25 minutes! Thought I would share you this Krista tid bit and perhaps it will make you feel a little bit better about your life, or at least make you smile. :-)

Who am I: Part 2

Hey so guess what I have been doing again??? Yup more surveys...one of these days I might just figure myself out who knows, or maybe if I do enough you can figure that out for me.

So for this next test I was ranked in a category they entitled "Counselors"

This category was represented as having an exceptionally strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others, and find great personal fulfillment interacting with people, nurturing their personal development, guiding them to realize their human potential. Although they are happy working at jobs (such as writing) that require solitude and close attention, Counselors do quite well with individuals or groups of people, provided that the personal interactions are not superficial, and that they find some quiet, private time every now and then to recharge their batteries. Counselors are both kind and positive in their handling of others; they are great listeners and seem naturally interested in helping people with their personal problems. Not usually visible leaders, Counselors prefer to work intensely with those close to them, especially on a one-to-one basis, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes.


So I definitely would have to agree on this part, I am a really good listener, not such a great talker but I can certainly make up for that in listening. The only part that isn't me is the liking to write. Which I say I hate and yet here I am writing this all out to you. So maybe I do like to write just mostly only in the form of blogs and not in the form of papers. College must condition me to hate writing and anything that says other wise I now dismiss right away. On the other hand I totally agree with the statement about me seeing fulfillment in interacting with people and guiding them, I really do see great fulfillment in that. I also love hearing about peoples problems oddly enough I really like being there for people and just being there to hear them. I rarely can offer any help or insight but I do genuinely long to hear them out and try to understand.


The profile then continued saying Counselors are scarce, little more than one percent of the population, and can be hard to get to know, since they tend not to share their innermost thoughts or their powerful emotional reactions except with their loved ones. They are highly private people, with an unusually rich, complicated inner life. Friends or colleagues who have known them for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise. Not that Counselors are flighty or scattered; they value their integrity a great deal, but they have mysterious, intricately woven personalities which sometimes puzzle even them.


Totally agree with not sharing my thoughts part, I am prolly one of the scarcest persons ever although in time I have and hope to continue to improve on that one. And I certainly do have a rich and complicated inner life I haven’t been able to reveal too much of it to you but trust me on this on that one is certainly right on. Sorry if I surprise you but I am pretty sure that will prolly happen no one has gotten to know me and not be shocked at times….this includes myself. Totally agree with everything here…. Lol maybe I should be a counselor or something if that has any correlation with this personality.


Continuing again, Counselors tend to work effectively in organizations. They value staff harmony and make every effort to help an organization run smoothly and pleasantly. They understand and use human systems creatively, and are good at consulting and cooperating with others. As employees or employers, Counselors are concerned with people’s feelings and are able to act as a barometer of the feelings within the organization.

I like things running smoothly, I donno about my abilities in these areas but I am deff very concern of ppl’s feelings and stuff.

Blessed with vivid imaginations, Counselors are often seen as the most poetical of all the types, and in fact they use a lot of poetic imagery in their everyday language. Their great talent for language-both written and spoken-is usually directed toward communicating with people in a personalized way. Counselors are highly intuitive and can recognize another’s emotions or intentions – good or evil – even before that person is aware of them. Counselors themselves can seldom tell how they came to read others’ feelings so keenly. This extreme sensitivity to others could very well be the basis of the Counselor’s remarkable ability to experience a whole array of psychic phenomena.

Poetic? I donno about that one might be where this one breaks done, language is also not one of my talents. I am pretty intuitive and I have experienced that, even when the other person didn’t know like today I just sinced my friend was hurting Jso I gave her a hug and was like how are you? She was like ah good? And then she just looked at me and starting balling, and was like really I was fine nothing was really wrong and she was just upset. I can’t explain it but I think you have experienced similar things I can just since things in people sometimes.

100 Random things about me.

1. My family is crazy, I am crazy, like seriously psychologically insane, we all pretty much have some sort of disorder and we are all wacky but at the same time we are all really fun certainly top grade entertainment.

2. I spend hours and hours online doing nothing productive, facebooking, blogging and doing random searches.

3. I have had two cars first a gold 1997 Saturn that I totaled about a month after I got it then it overheated about a year and 3 months after that, now I have a Honda Civic 2000.

4. I love pranks…funny ones not seriously harmful ones….both doing them and I can always appreciate a good one when someone pulls one on me. (But beware I will get you back 100 fold)

5. I was single till I was 19 never even held hands.

6. I used to be really depressed and sad all the time but then I gave everything to God (of course this was a 4 year process) and now I can’t imagine feeling unhappy, yes I get sad but I haven’t not been happy in a long time

7. Giving three wishes (apart from the obvious wishing for more wishes) I would wish that I would be able to always be as strong in my faith as I am right now, for economic security, and lastly I would wish for a happy future to come

8. I love kids and I want some someday…not sure on the details would nice to have 3-4 maybe but any would be amazing to have.

9. I have never been drunk, and haven't had any alcohol since I turned 21.

10. I came to Christ when I was really little decided to commit my life to him when I was 8 at a heaven and hell play and was baptized when I was 19.

11. I moved 6 times in grade school between 3 school districts and never moved buildings while in the same school district.

12. I used to be strictly a sneakers person but I have recently started liking flip-flops in the summer time anyways but I deff prefer comfort to style – not that style is bad or anything.

13. I am high on life high on Jesus and it is one high that will last as long as you let it….as I am recently discovering.

14. I am not a make-up person not like some ppl I do wear it sometimes now but not too much and I am not fussy with things like that… will only put it on in private I am really embarrassed making myself up in any way around ppl.

15. I don’t do most all drinks, nothing hot, not too much a fan of soda or most juices so mostly I stick to the water and then my recent addiction Diet Mountain Dew!!

16. I have been on a few plans but on three trips to Florida on my 8th birthday (turned 8 on the plane !!! hehe) California when I was 16 and then to Guyana when I was 18 and then to Bolivia in 2008.

17. I was in the newspaper when I was four, for pouring a glass of milk at my preschool.

18. When I am bored you will find me watching lots of T.V. shows playing on facebook or laying around doing absolutely nothing when I am too lazy to even get my laptop.

19. I like mints over gum, they dispose of themselves

20. Until my 20th Birthday I hadn't owned a dress since I was 7.

21. I like jeans …though I am trying to branch out a bit.

22. Weekends are the best…depends on what my schedule is or what I am doing on what my favorite day of the week is but prolly is most likely Sunday.

23. I have been asked out 7 times only said yes once though and never really said no directly to the others.

24. I try not to swear but on rare occasion I have before regrettably so but usually when I am by myself.

25. I am much more of a dog lover than a cat person though I like cat too just not as much as I love dogs.

26. Since I haven’t really done too much remarkable with my life at this point I consider my greatest achievement just to be the person I have become and how much I have been able to open up and how far I have come in my walk with God.

26. I love road trips one day I would like to just go out on a road trip particularly out west just to explore and see the countryside.

27. I was conceived July 1st 1987, which was a Friday.

28. I really like random trivia facts…just for fun, I don’t remember to many of them and will more than likely never use them but I enjoy reading them and learning weird, random facts.

29. I had to learn how to drive on stick with my 2nd grade Sunday school teacher cause my parents were too afraid consequently it too me 20 months after I had my permit but I passed the first time despite jumping the curve while parallel parking.

30. I love Disney movies always have and always will.

31. Actually I love all movies really and watch them all the time…. mostly all kinds depending though my least favorite genres would have to be Horror, and action.

32. I am really easy going and it takes a lot to really get at me but when you do stay clear.

33. I really like random things and I am sometimes really random consequently usually it is just for the sake of being random other times it is just me. Like taking surveys and questions things for example I love it. Good way to waste my time.

34. I donno if I believe in soul mates per say, but I hope there is one for me.

35. I am technically republican as in that is what I am registered as but I am deff more moderate in my political beliefs.

36. I haven’t ever broken any bones.

37. The only surgeries I have had were tubes in my ears when I was little and a whole mess of teeth junk.

38. I had two sets of baby teeth, unfortunately most of the second set stayed in, requiring me to get them pulled or surgically removed.

39. I peed my pants during the Iowa’s in 2nd grade.

40. I used to be absolutely terrified of the phone, talking on it that is, to anybody.

41. I refused to have Birthday parties cause I was to afraid to invite ppl, and would have a fit … I mean I temper tantrum (ending in me threatening to kill myself) when my mom would force me to invite my friends. ( this was even in 10/ 11th grade)

42. Pepsi over coke though soda makes me sick….diet mountain dew…is the way to go

43. I love traveling wither it is down the street to another state or across the world I love it and want to do more of it.

45. I have pulled lots of all nighters the worst of which involved 119 tums…hehe though that was a fun time minus me hurting Holly

46. I like night time, I hate mornings…. daytime falls some where in between depending on what I am doing.

47. My favorite flavor in candy and things is prolly lime, I am pretty sure that just started from me likening green which I derived from mine and my grandma goon’s eyes being green.

48. My favorite number is 8 sometimes 88 and has been since I was 8 cause I loved that year, I flew and I became a big sister not to mention a lot of other things.

49. I cried for the first year of my life cause of my ear infections and I was allergic to the formula…and afterwords I hardly said boo until recently that is.

50. “Google it ” that is my answer for just about everything I am to tired or to lazy to figure out

51. I wish I was better at forming and maintaining friendships, wish I could open up more with ppl

52. Houghton College is basically one of the most amazing places on earth and we all know that isn’t because of the climate.

53. I love the Ocean and the beach…but my favorite part is digging in the sand.

54. I love rides and roller coasters.

55. I met my ex-fiance on facebook of all places.

56. I have the most amazing puppy in the world Sadie, a ridge back who isn’t quite a puppy any more.

57. I like eggs sunny side up

58. Gasoline stinks I hate the smell of it, spilled it all over the place once when I got in a fight with my brother when I was like 9

59. Electricity was certainly the greatest invention

60. I don’t like chocolate at all, minus white chocolate.

61. I am usually a really good guesser

62. I am really self conscious and really easy to get to cave in.

63. I hardly ever eat breakfast and when I do I nearly always regret it.

64. I would really like to go suba diving sometime.

65. I like to be challenged always have since 4th grade… it is what prevents me from beings so lazy and really gets me motivated.

66. I would choose love over money any day, after all there are somethings money can’t by, and those are the things that really matter.

67. I don’t think I hate anyone I know at one point I really felt I hated my mom but that is only person I can ever really say I hated other than myself of course.

68. I have lived in 2 homes , and then the dorms and townhouses here .

69. Favorite candy would have to be recies pieces, carmal creams, payday candy bars and skittles

70. I dislike English always have, prolly since I can’t read to well, can’t spell anything and have the worst grammar in the world.

71. anything I commit to I do well on, the problem is I rarely commit to things.

72. I hate puking, I avoid it at all costs.

73. I like science and math and psychology, mainly cause I am good at them but they are also really interesting and I can apply them to everything.

74. I was suppose to be born on April fools day but came 4 days late and weighted 7.8 and was 21” long.

75. Spring is my favorite season but there are things I love and dislike about all of them.

76. I have never had any cavities or braces.

77. I have worn glasses since 2nd grade when I bet my best friend melissa that I would fail both the eye exam and ear exam at the nurses office and did (turns out I had spit wads in my ears)

78. I got first place in bible quizzing in 8th grade

79. My Favorite teachers were Mrs. Klinger, Mrs. Dutcher, Doc Watson, and Prof Stegan.

80. I am a Daddy’s girl through and through …even though I have started to become more like my mom in personality I will always be a Daddy’s girl.

81. I called my Grandma “goon” cause I couldn’t say grandma and it stuck

82. All my family members have birthmarks I was blessed with a huge blob on my upper right inner thigh and a could on my arms, while my little sister got all the cool shaped ones.

83. I was able to predict the date my sister was born and won a contest my mom had for her 3rd grade class.

84. I am one of those odd ones that have always wanted to be younger, when I was eight I wrote my paper about how old I would like to be forever as being 0, I eventually moved up to 2 then to 8 and I think I am stuck on 23 now…even though I am not there and sometimes I wish I could go back to younger ….if it was forever I would want to have some responsibility….guess I have finally grown up hehe.

85. I am prolly one of the lest coordinated people you will ever meet I once tripped up the stairs 37 times in one day…not my best day.

86. I once got a 4 out of a 100 on a math test that I studied for and answered all the questions to and then retook it and got a 12.

87. I was so bad at spelling when I was younger that the only time I remember doing remotely well was in third grade at this one school that my mom kick me out of right after the test that I got a 105 on ….granted our bonus word was pot but still it was exciting.

88. In middle school I was commonly refereed to and pick on as “fly girl” cause my fly was undone during a Spanish class one day.

89. I have never really known my neighbors, like I don’t think I could point them out if I saw them even, apart form college life you know.

90. For all that I can remember I have lived on top of a hill.

91. I was born in Charlotte, NC.

92. I love to laugh love to smile consequently I do it just about all the time.

93. I have always loved veggies over over things exp sweets…. i would much done on the carrots while everyone is digging into cake.

94. I like onions raw and whole with lots of salt….I can eat them just like apples, and even when I was little I would wear the rings on my arm like braceletts.

95. I like walking over driving and stairs over elevators….unless there are more than 6 flights then I will opt for an elevator.

96. I am more of a pen person….pencils never work for me and the witting fades too quickly.

97. I love stargazing and watching thunderstorms as well as sunsets and sunrises…. they are just wonderful to marvel at.

98. I like outhouse books…hehehe

99. I usually walk really fast when I am alone and really slow when I am with ppl.

100. I have SO MUCH Work to do.

Who am I?

So "Who am I?" is one of those odd thought provoking questions that has consumed much of my life. Along with my favorite right now which is what do I want to be when I grow up? But who I am remains in many ways still somewhat of a mystery to me as I feel that I am still only exposed to part of me as I am still growing and still have so much to learn and I never really figured out who I am yet. I mean yeah I could list a lot of things I am. For instance I am a child of God, I am a christian, I am a senior Biochemistry and Psychology double major at Houghton college, I am a friend, I am a student manager, I am a follower, I am a sister, a daughter, granddaughter, animal lover, and the list goes on. I could also give you a much longer list of who I am not I am not an English major, a coffee drinker, chocolate eater, atheist, mechanic, perfectionist, etc. But somehow all this knowledge has never been able to quench my desire to know who I am to my entirety or what on earth was I put here for what is my purpose.

Out of this great insecurity, desire, quest or whatever you want to call it I have been putting off all my classwork to yes fill out more surveys that claim to give some insight as to who I am and what my skill set might imply I should become and I thought I would share them with you for laughs and for confirmation or possibly insight as I continue on somewhat of a never ending minor identity crisis.

My results were as follows....
You have strong distraction needs. Distraction entails Pleasure, Joking and Change. Those who score high on these needs are happy-go-lucky and fun seeking, but also careless. Since pleasure is their predominant quest, they don’t believe that life should be taken too seriously. To them, every day should be a holiday. They much prefer play to work and consider weekends and vacation time as the ultimate rewards. They are funny and enjoy laughing at their own practical jokes and clownish shows, especially at parties where they can entertain cheerful guests. These individuals need to break monotony by switching to new activities, such as weekend escapades or stimulating trips that will bring them new sensations and a change of scenery. They enjoy living one day at a time without bothering about tomorrow. They need fun, laughter and distraction.

And so far I am in agreement, although I have to admit that as much as I love being fun-loving and the joy that this attitude has had in my life as well as its ability to get me through so really rough spots, this is perhaps one of my greatest flaws as well. I say this as it is so easy for me to not take somethings as seriously as I ought to or not have the tendency to run off and explore the world when I have things I need to do here. I know life isn’t a game, so this is a balance I have learned that life is to be joyous and lived to the fullest but there is also an important role for work and responsibility that need not be forgotten. So although this may indeed me characteristic of me and who I am it fails to see the growth and balance I have learned and worked at to balance out my nature and better serve God.

For the next personality survey of the day I was found as follows
You have a strong passion and attraction to the aesthetic qualities of life; you greatly appreciate the beauty around you, whether in the form of nature’s masterpieces or man-made designs. We often forget that beauty can be found beyond what we see on the runway at a fashion show or on TV. By taking the time to explore the beauty in the world around you, you will develop a greater appreciation for the simple splendors in nature or the different facets of human creativity that we often take for granted!

This I do find quite characteristic of the Krista that God has made me to be, I really do like the simple things and just looking at a blue sky or the trees or the squirrel passing by or the toddler screaming across campus, or gazing up at the stars on a clear night or the sunsets! It is in those moments I am am able to really see beauty and see God, often in the smallest, perhaps even meaninless things to most people. That is where I see the details and know that God exist and know that, because he cares about all the tiniest details, he didn’t need to but did just so I could enjoy them. He made colors he made sunshine he made beauty in everything and it just never stops amazing me no matter how busy I get something little with come about and I will be reminded of his love and his beauty. I don’t need a deep profound insight all I need is a really pretty cloud or a rainbow and I have my theological fix for a while. It is also not the big things in life that really matter to me –usually but the little ones. Even how I fall in love with a friend, it is not because of how outrageously attractive they are or how sweet and sensitive they may be, but rather in the little things that they may never even know. Like the way they sit with me and make me laugh after a bad day or just smile as I pass them. That is what I love just having little things to admire …not the million dollar mansion but the little side window to glaze out at the beautiful creation of God.

More insight will soon follow ....