Movie Reviews

I have decided to now bless you with my movie reviews....bare with me as I begin this process as I have seen a whole lot of movies. I am going to start with the ones I have seen most recently but keep them organize by gene


Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011) PG-13 6/ 10 Stars

Okay so I had heard a lot of mixed reviews prior to attending this movie myself some rather negative ones some more positives and a lot in-between. I don’t think this was anyone’s favorite movie for the year or anything, but I also would not consider this to be in anyway the worst. Personally I didn’t think it was all that bad, and most certainly a whole lot better then its predecessor, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, a scrappy, endless film that gave the global audience a global headache four years ago. Yet at some point while watching it I simply rebelled. It made me angry that something so timid, by-the-numbers and fundamentally tedious was being positioned as the new big thing, lavished with oceans of hype and sailing to a probable $1 billion on board the good ship Brand Recognition. Yes, it’s ‘not bad’, but it leaves much to be desired at the same time. It seemed like every other scene was more fighting and not all that exciting of actions scenes either. I felt like I could have completely distracted myself elsewhere for several minutes and not have missed a single thing for much of the movie. On the flip side, On Stranger Tides does have some pros as well, the production values are impeccable, the cinematography is skillful, the costumes, sets and period recreation is authentic and the effects are superb. The opening twenty minutes is an example of the writing being at its funniest and wittiest, and the scenes with the mermaids are beautifully shot and intriguing. So I have to give the movie some credit. I wouldn’t say it is a must see by any means and certainly worth waiting for till it’s in Red Box, and at the same time it is worth a shot if you are running out of movies to see throw it on just don’t expect what you got in the first one and you might not be terribly disappointed. And now for my favorite quotes….
Angelica:How is it we can never meet without you pointing something at me?
Barbossa: You can sleep when you're dead!
Gibbs: All part of the plan, yes?
Jack Sparrow: No.
Angelica: Maybe you don't believe the supernatural.
Jack Sparrow: Oh no, I've seen a thing or two.
Jack Sparrow: You lied to me by telling me the truth?
Angelica: Yes.
Jack Sparrow: Thats good! May I use that?
Angelica: You walk like a girl.
Jack Sparrow: You would know.
Jack Sparrow: There is a girl. Female. Of opposite sex.
Gibbs: When is there not?
Jack Sparrow: You are guilty of being innocent of being Jack Sparrow.
Captain Teague: I heard where you're headed. The Fountain.
Jack Sparrow: Have you been there?
Captain Teague: Does this face looks like it's been to the Fountain of Youth?
Jack Sparrow: ...Depends on the light.
Angelica: What were you doing in a Spanish convent, anyway?
Jack Sparrow: Mistook it for a brothel. Honest mistake.
Jack Sparrow: I may have had... briefly, mind you... stirrings.
Gibbs: Stirrings?
Jack Sparrow: Stirrings.
Gibbs: What, like feelings, you mean?
Jack Sparrow: No, no, no, no, no, not quite all the way to feelings. More like... stirrings.
Jack Sparrow: Damn you. Alright, feelings.
Jack Sparrow: Clergyman, on the off chance that this does not go well for me, I would like you to note it-hearing now-that I am fully prepared to believe in whatever I must, and be welcomed into that place where all the "goody-goodies" want to go once they pop their clogs. Savvy?
Angelica: [Jack turns to leave] Wait! I'm with child... it's yours.
Jack Sparrow: I don't remember...
Angelica: You were drunk.
Jack Sparrow: I don't think I've ever been that drunk.
Angelica: I love you, Jack.
Jack Sparrow: As do I. Always have, always will.
Jack Sparrow: You demonstrated a lot of technique for someone I apparently corrupted.
Salaman: You are either for us of against us!
Philip: I am neither with you, nor am I against you!
Salaman: [to Jack] Can he do that?
Jack Sparrow: He's religious, I believe it's required.
Jack Sparrow: You know the feeling you get when standing in a high place, the sudden urge to jump...
[looks over the cliff, as if considering jumping, then comes back to reality]
Jack Sparrow: I don't have it.
Jack Sparrow: If you have a Sister and a dog... I choose the Dog...
Gibbs: So the Pearl. Any idea on how to get her out?
Jack Sparrow: We shall need a crossbow, an hourglass, three goats, one of us must learn to play the trumpet, whilst the other one goes like this.
Gibbs: I know a man with a goat.
Jack Sparrow: Good, then I can go like this.
Syrena: Don't waste my tears.
Jack Sparrow: I support the Missionary's position.
Jack Sparrow: The Black Pearl in a bottle. Why is the Black Pearl in a bottle?
Jack Sparrow: [to king George II] You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?
Jack Sparrow: Captain, I wish to report a mutiny. I can name fingers and point names.
Jack Sparrow: I understand everything... except that wig.
Syrena: You're dying. I can save you, if you ask.
Philip: All I want is forgiveness for what I've done to you.

Thor (2011) --- 7/10 Stars PG-13
So Action isn’t typically my go to movie, but this was way better than anticipated for me. They surprisingly were able to effectively pull of a great balance between the real world Marvel Universe and the Norse mythology. Hatts off to Marvel once again for a job well done. It’s bewildering at times, condensing nearly 50 years of comic history with a speed that can mean characters are paid scant lip service. You suspect there’s a lot of material on the cutting-room floor. Hats off to Chris Hemsworth as well staring as the Norse god Thor who although New to acting, pulled it off terrifically, plus he is super cut, so if anything I guess you could go see if for that. But I can almost guarantee he will be starring in a lot more in the future. Intelligent comic-book popcorn epics are rare and I gotta say this one set a new bar for the rest to attempt to meet.

In quick summary the plot is a good one and I am not gonna spoil it but Thor is a god, the Son of Odin who is about to inherit the throne when due to his raging temper he attacks Asgard and sparks on a war, in direct rebellion of his father’s orders. Odin then sentences him to Earth to learn a lesson, meanwhile his “brother,” Atum is taking over and Odin falls ill. You can watch to see the rest for yourself and I would recommend it. Regardless of if Action Adventure is your thing it has a great story line and I found it very intriguing not merely fighting scenes as many of them are now a days. So I would say go or at least get it on Netflix when it is out. Here are some of my favorite lines of the movie…

Darcy: You know, for a crazy homeless person... he's pretty cut.
Thor: For the first time in my life, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do...
Agent Phil Coulson: It's not easy to do what you did. You made my men - some of the most highly trained professionals in the world - look like a bunch of minimum-wage mall cops. In my experience, it takes someone who's received similar training to do what you did to them. Why don't you tell me where you received that training? Afghanistan, Chechnya? No, you strike me more as the soldier of fortune type. Who are you?
Odin: You are a vain, greedy, cruel boy.
Thor: And you are an old man, and a fool!
Odin:Yes... I was a fool to think you were ready.
Thor: This mortal form grows weak. I require sustenance!
Thor: [taking coffee for the first time] This drink... I like it! More! [smashes the cup]
Darcy: This is going on Facebook!
Thor: I have no plans to die today


Open Season 2 (2008)---- 7/10 Stars PG
Okay so I am not usually a huge fan of sequels, and I can't even say I was a huge fan of the first Open Season. Perhaps I was just overly tired when I watched this, but I was presently surprised by it. Then again I do have a little kid since of humor, and love animated movies for the most part. There were a lot of one liners in this movie that made me love it. In its own right it is a very fun movie with some hilarious moments, mainly involving the white furball poodle type dog with the most amazing voice actor for the character. Fifi alone could keep me entertained for a few hours. The animation is OK, there are points where it is great, and others where it looks more like something I would do. The story is simple but effective. It tells the story of a daschund called Mr Weeny who was with the "gang" after escaping from his owners, which are an over loving woman and a guy that wasn't concentrated on very much. Basically Mr Weeny gets found by her again, and Elliott sees her pick Mr Weeny up and he thinks she is hurting him, and the movie starts on their journey to find Mr Weeny. There are other sub stories as well, but I don't want to spoil the movie, because although it isn't brilliant, it is still good enough to stick on for a few laughs, and is worth seeing. And just for kicks here are a few of my favorite lines….although there are many more...
Roberto: How long do you think it'll be till we stop? 'Cause I gotta poop. Seriously, I gotta poop really bad.
Fifi: I said that it was going to be a long ride, but you never listen. Just like when I told you not to eat that leftover burrito grande.

Roberto: Come on, Fifi. I think a bald spot makes you look more sophisticated. Singe is the new pompadour.

Elliot: Weenie,... When did you get here?
Mr. Weenie: Don't you see. Boog, McSquizzy, Giselle. They'll all be torn to pieces.
Elliot: Torn to "pizzas"?
Mr. Weenie: Pieces, you strudelkopf.

Fifi: I have had it! No more! The wild animals have pushed me too far! The next Wild I see crawl out of that forest, if they don't have their papers, they are getting a full-Fifi-smackdown! This... Is... War!

Elliot: [when Boog asks where are the toilets in the forest] Don't look now, but I see a little bush with your name written all over it.
Boog: A bush? Are you serious?
Elliot: Go on. Its just like riding a bicycle, only... you're crapping on it.
Elliot: Show us your GRRR face, nature boy!

Rio (2011) 8.5/10 Stars G

This movie reminded me of South America, which I love and miss so therefore I may have been slightly bias just so you are forewarned, I am also very much a kid at heart. Nevertheless I really enjoyed this movie, I only saw the 2D version so I can’t attest to how it was in 3D. But it was pretty vibrant in 2D that’s for sure, the colors were fantastic so lively and not too far from reality as tropical birds are so beautiful.

It's the characters and the fish-out-of-water story that make the film so golden. Having both a wild and a domesticated parrot chained together makes for many funny moments, including a hand-gliding lesson that doesn't go so well, despite the coaching of Rafael the toucan. The added layer of a gender-reversed Romancing the Stone love story between Blu and Jewel provides further comedy. And to see the pair slowly fall in love is actually endearing to watch.
The sound track in this movie was also very good and it is very much a family friendly movie which is a refreshing change to see a good quality movie without all the garbage put into movies these days. Now for quotes of course...

Blu: Throw all the snow balls you want. I'm protected by this magical forcefield, called glass! It that keeps us so toasty and warm in here. While you guys out there are freezing your...
Blu: Linda! Little help here! Linda?
Linda: Wow! You're actually communicating!
Tulio: Yes! Yes! I introduced myself and shook my tail feathers counter clockwise, thus referring to his dominance.
Blu: I did not get that at all.
Linda: It was very nice of you to stop in and squawk around and throw my bird. But now it's time for you to go.
Jewel: Aw, this is great. I’m chained to the only bird in the world who can’t fly! Is there anything else I need to know?
Blu: Yes. I can’t fly, I pick my beak, and once in a while I pee in the birdbath!
Raphael: Blu down here. Just tell her you have beautiful eyes.
Blu: That's a great idea! [he turns to Jewel] I have beautiful eyes.
Pedro: You've got some pigeon doo-doo on your nose...
Raphael: I like you! Nothing you say makes any sense!
Cheese and Sprinkles!
Blu: Oh! Hi! Hi! My name is Blu. You know, like the cheese with the mold on it, that smells really bad.
Blu: Okay. Okay. There's not place like home! There's no place like home! Oh, how I wish I was back in my own cage, with my mirror and my swing and my little bell! Oh! How I miss my bell.
Nigel: I was striking, suave, ambitious. Feet to beak. So bodylicious. Now I am wild. I am villainous and vicious. Oh! And malicious. I had it all. A TV show. Women too! I was tall, over one foot two! And then they got a pretty parakeet to fill my shoes. That's why I'm so evil. Why I do what I do!
Nigel: I'll have you rotisseried! I'm a feathery freak, with a beak. A bird murder! You think you're badder than me. I never head of ya. I'm evil. I'll fill your cheese with evils!
Nigel: I'm unmincable. I'm unwashable. Unrinsable. Like an abandoned school, I have no principle. Full of Brazilian birds. All eighty million birds. I tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to bake you.


Bridesmaids (2011) ---- 8/10 Stars R
So I would have to say this is a must see, for all the ladies out there anyways, definitely a chick flick but a really funny one. The first scene was in my opinion completely uncalled for and raunchy as well as the ending scene in the credits, I personally did not care to see any of that and any one going to see this, I highly recommend coming 10 minutes late and being sure to leave before the credits come. You will miss nothing other than raunchiness and I feel your experience will be all the better for it. Nevertheless, other than those scenes and some other uncalled for raunchiness in a few instances I really loved this movie. I absolutely loved the whole bathroom scene, but then again that is right up my since of humor. It is defiantly a movie to get you laughing. I have to say my favorite character of the movie was Melissa McCarthy, who played Megan, the groom’s sister who was forced into the bridal party. Her witty temperament almost stole the show from Wiig, as pretty much everything she said or did was grounds for amusement.

This is by no means a Shutter Island, an engaging, must-see-twice film. You get the point fairly easily in this one. However, if you’re a fan of movies like Bride Wars or No Strings Attached, this is definitely one to see. Call it a Judd Apatow-for-chicks comedy or his laugh factory's finest effort since 2007's "Knocked Up" or a girl version of the Hangover, either way as a woman, I liked it much better than those. I would say if you are a women and you need a laugh or a fun night out with the girlies this is a must see, you could also be like the group of 50+ year olds that sat in front of my mother and I who brought their own liquor to pass around. There were several amazing quotes in this movie to list a few…

Megan: [belches loudly] "I'm sorry. I won't apologize. I'm not confident which end that came out of."
Megan: "I'm glad he's single, 'cause I'm gonna climb that like a tree."
Annie: "I'm gonna leave this [curtain] open! Cause... It's called civil *rights*. This is the '90s!"
Annie's roommate: At first I did not know it was your diary... I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.
Lillian: You remember my cousin Rita. Rita just bought a new house. It is gorgeous.
Rita: I wouldn't know, I only see the kitchen and the laundry room, and the ceiling in my bedroom.
Rita: [after pause] Sometimes the floor.
Annie: You are going along with your life and you look around and you notice like Ohh. I am in my 30's, I am 40,000 dollar in debt. I live with a weirdo.
Lillian: You have a super creepy roommate.


Water for Elephants (2011) --- 5.5 /10 Stars PG-13

So I basically saw this movie only because I wanted to spend some time with some awesome people that happened to be going to see it, so I bit my tongue and went even the whole idea of seeing a movie with vampire dude, aka Rober Pattinson seemed like a bad idea. I may have been better off listening to my instincts, but if I had I would not have had all the fun with my friends and I would have missed out on the awesome Elephant, Rosie. She was by far the highlight to the film and perhaps made it worth it, I just wished they would have given her more of the film then they did. Vampire dude was not as horrible as I thought he would be and I was slightly able to get over thinking of him vampire guy but not enough lol. The chemistry was kinda off throughout the film and I wouldn’t call in a love story or romantic, which was rather disappointing. With that said I would not say this film is so bad that it is not worth a view, just not a favorite that is all. There are definitely some good things about the film as well, so if you are board pop it in, just don’t expect too much. Now for some quotes…

And then I laugh, because it's so ridiculous and so gorgeous and it's all I an do to not melt into a fit of giggles. So what if I'm ninety-three? So what if I'm ancient and cranky and my body's a wreck? If they're willing to accept me and my guilty conscience, why the hell shouldn't I run away with the circus? It's like Charlie told the cop. For this old man, this IS home.
I look after those who look after me. He smacks his lips, stares at me, and adds, "I also look after those who don't.
When two people are meant to be together, they will be together. It's fate.
The whole thing's illusion, Jacob, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's what people want from us. It's what they expect.
i meant what i said, and i said what i meant.
Age is terrible thief. Just when you're getting the hang of life, it knocks your legs out from under you and stoops your back"
All right. Let's give you something to tell your grandkids about. Or great-grandkids. Or great-great-grandkids.
August: As long as we can walk, we play
Jacob: I don't know if I picked that circus. But something told me that circus picked me.

Romantic Comedy

Notting Hill (1999) --- 7 /10 Stars PG-13

So I was randomly searching Netflix for something good to watch to pass the time at work and I came across this one with Hugh Grant, and Julia Roberts, and I am generally a fan of both of them so I figured it was worth a shot, and for the most part it was. It was not really your typical romantic comedy plot was nothing deep but was pretty funny and I felt it was pretty engaging. The whole concept of the life of an actress was pretty interesting to think about as well. I was also definitely a big fan of the ending. I would say it is worth a view on Netflix if you don’t have much else to do and need something to watch for sure. Here are some of my favorite quotes…

Anna Scott: I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.

William: Oh, sod a dog. I've made the wrong decision, haven't I?

P.R. Chief: Dominic... if you'd like to ask your question again?
Journalist: Yes. Anna, how long are you intending to stay here in Britain?
Anna Scott: [pause] Indefinitely.

William: I enjoyed the movie very much. I was just wondering, did you ever consider having more horses in it?
Anna Scott: Well, we would have liked to. But it was difficult, obviously, being set in space.

Keziah: No thanks, I'm a fruitarian.
Max: I didn't realize that.
William: And, ahm: what exactly is a fruitarian?
Keziah: We believe that fruits and vegetables have feeling so we think cooking is cruel. We only eat things that have actually fallen off a tree or bush - that are, in fact, dead already.
William: Right. Right. Interesting stuff. So, these carrots...
Keziah: Have been murdered, yes.
William: Murdered? Poor carrots. How beastly!

William: It's as if I've taken love heroin, and now I can't ever have it again.

Anna Scott: Can I stay for a while?
William: You can stay forever.

William: I live in Notting Hill. You live in Beverly Hills. Everyone in the world knows who you are, my mother has trouble remembering my name.

Spike: There's something wrong with this yogurt.
William: Ah, that's not yogurt, that's mayonnaise...
Spike: Ah, right-o then.
[continues to eat it]

Anna Scott: "For June who loved this garden from Joseph who always sat beside her." Some people do spend their whole lives together.

Anna Scott: No, leave it. I'm sure you didn't mean any harm, I'm sure it was just friendly banter, I'm sure you guys have dicks the size of peanuts. Enjoy your dinner, the tuna's really good.

William: So how is he?
Anna Scott: I don't know. It just got to the point where I couldn't remember any of the reasons why we were together.

William: Would you like a cup of tea before you go?
Anna Scott: No.
William: Orange juice? No, probably not... something else cold? Coke? Water? Some disgusting sugary drink pretending to have something to do with fruits of the forest?
Anna Scott: No.
William: Do you... always say no to everything?
Anna Scott: [thinks] No.

Spike: Bugger this for a bunch of bananas.

Anna Scott: What's so annoying is now I'm so totally fierce when it comes to nudity clauses.
William: You have clauses in your contract?
Anna Scott: Yeah. "you may show the dent at the top of the artist's buttocks, but neither cheek or if a stunt bottom is being used, artists must have full consultation".
William: You have a stunt bottom?
Anna Scott: I *could* have a stunt bottom, yes.
William: Are people tempted to go for better bottoms than their own?
Anna Scott: Well yeah, I would. This is important stuff.
William: Hell of a thing to put on your passport, Occupation "Mel Gibson's bottom"
Anna Scott: Actually Mel does his own ass work. Well why wouldn't he.

Anna Scott: Busy tomorrow?
William: I thought you were leaving tomorrow?
Anna Scott: I was.
Share this quote

Spike: [comes in after being photographed by the press] How did I look?
[looking in a mirror]
Spike: Not bad, not bad at all. Well chosen briefs I must say. Chicks dig grey.
[clenching his butt]
Spike: Nice. Firm. Buttocks.

P.R. Chief: Next question? Yes. You in the pink shirt.
William: Uh, right. Miss Scott, are there any circumstances that you and he might be more than just friends.
Anna Scott: I hoped that there would be but I've been assured that there's not.
William: Yes, but what if...
P.R. Chief: I'm sorry. Just the one question.
Anna Scott: No. It's alright. You were saying?
William: I was just wondering what if this person...
Journalist: Thacker. His name is Thacker.
William: Right. Thanks. What if, uh, Mr. Thacker realized that he had been a daft prick and got down on his knees and begged you to reconsider if you would... indeed... reconsider.
Anna Scott: [pause] Yes. I believe I would.
William: That's wonderful news. The readers of Horse and Hound will be relieved

Something Borrowed (2011) --- 5/10 Stars PG-13

So all in all I would say this movie was very much a take it or leave it kinda of deal, it wasn’t to the point I would recommend it nor would I warn anyone of watching it. I would recommend waiting to it is released on DVD first if you are going to watch it as I don’t think it is at all worth seeing in theaters.

The film deals with a lot of interesting and relatable relationship issues (at least for me) but doesn't come to a satisfying conclusion on any of them. To add it it the whole storyline was very redundant and expected. And seriously, considering Darcy and Rachel are longtime best friends, we know Rachel and Dex have seen one another many times in the ensuing years, and yet it isn't until Rachel's birthday that they suddenly realize they really love each other? Come on! Ridiculous. The rest of the movie is tennis game of rationalization and guilt with a few smatterings of clever witty one liners.. And Dex is a genuine jerk I hated him and think Rachel should have gone with Ethan instead. I do have to admit that up until the ending, I actually enjoyed the movie pretty well, because I kept hoping for Rachel to learn and grow. Instead, she took a huge leap backwards. Any sympathy I had garnered for her during her dilemma dissipated faster than mist in the desert.

As for the acting, John Kraszinski (Ethan) stole the movie. Charming and charismatic, his was the only character at the end I still liked. Ginnifer Goodwin was also fantastic in the role (not her fault the storyline is idiotic). Kate Hudson is annoying and almost unwatchable, nothing much there to relate to, until her last two scenes (discovering Dex's jacket, and seeing Rachel on the street). Colin Egglesfield is beautiful, though a bit stiff, and perfect to play the part of the swine Dex. As for some quotes there were some good ones so here ya go…
Darcy: You’re 30, you can’t afford to be picky
Rachel: I first met Dex 6 years ago, at NYU. He was handsome… and charming… He was just…perfect… Then he met my best friend, Darcy.
Dex: Have you ever gone down a road, far down and wondered, maybe it wasn’t what you want?
Dex: You wouldn’t happen to have, like, 4 extra pens, do you?
Rachel: Oh, I do actually…
Rachel: See what happens when you sleep with people you don't love?
Darcy: You are my bestfriend is the understatement of the century.
You're the sister I never had.
You're sometimes the mother I often need.
The reason why I can't stumble so furiously into adventures,
because she's always there.
She is always, always there.
Rachel: Ah, there's an oldmaid in the window let's get her a cab.
Rachel: He makes you the person you want to be,
instead of the person you are, and that,
the idea of life without him is,
not only unbearable, it's unimaginable.