Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011) PG-13 6/ 10 Stars
Okay so I had heard a lot of mixed reviews prior to attending this movie myself some rather negative ones some more positives and a lot in-between. I don’t think this was anyone’s favorite movie for the year or anything, but I also would not consider this to be in anyway the worst. Personally I didn’t think it was all that bad, and most certainly a whole lot better then its predecessor, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, a scrappy, endless film that gave the global audience a global headache four years ago. Yet at some point while watching it I simply rebelled. It made me angry that something so timid, by-the-numbers and fundamentally tedious was being positioned as the new big thing, lavished with oceans of hype and sailing to a probable $1 billion on board the good ship Brand Recognition. Yes, it’s ‘not bad’, but it leaves much to be desired at the same time. It seemed like every other scene was more fighting and not all that exciting of actions scenes either. I felt like I could have completely distracted myself elsewhere for several minutes and not have missed a single thing for much of the movie. On the flip side, On Stranger Tides does have some pros as well, the production values are impeccable, the cinematography is skillful, the costumes, sets and period recreation is authentic and the effects are superb. The opening twenty minutes is an example of the writing being at its funniest and wittiest, and the scenes with the mermaids are beautifully shot and intriguing. So I have to give the movie some credit. I wouldn’t say it is a must see by any means and certainly worth waiting for till it’s in Red Box, and at the same time it is worth a shot if you are running out of movies to see throw it on just don’t expect what you got in the first one and you might not be terribly disappointed. And now for my favorite quotes….
Angelica:How is it we can never meet without you pointing something at me?
Barbossa: You can sleep when you're dead!
Gibbs: All part of the plan, yes?
Jack Sparrow: No.
Angelica: Maybe you don't believe the supernatural.
Jack Sparrow: Oh no, I've seen a thing or two.
Jack Sparrow: You lied to me by telling me the truth?
Angelica: Yes.
Jack Sparrow: Thats good! May I use that?
Angelica: You walk like a girl.
Jack Sparrow: You would know.
Jack Sparrow: There is a girl. Female. Of opposite sex.
Gibbs: When is there not?
Jack Sparrow: You are guilty of being innocent of being Jack Sparrow.
Captain Teague: I heard where you're headed. The Fountain.
Jack Sparrow: Have you been there?
Captain Teague: Does this face looks like it's been to the Fountain of Youth?
Jack Sparrow: ...Depends on the light.
Angelica: What were you doing in a Spanish convent, anyway?
Jack Sparrow: Mistook it for a brothel. Honest mistake.
Jack Sparrow: I may have had... briefly, mind you... stirrings.
Gibbs: Stirrings?
Jack Sparrow: Stirrings.
Gibbs: What, like feelings, you mean?
Jack Sparrow: No, no, no, no, no, not quite all the way to feelings. More like... stirrings.
Jack Sparrow: Damn you. Alright, feelings.
Jack Sparrow: Clergyman, on the off chance that this does not go well for me, I would like you to note it-hearing now-that I am fully prepared to believe in whatever I must, and be welcomed into that place where all the "goody-goodies" want to go once they pop their clogs. Savvy?
Angelica: [Jack turns to leave] Wait! I'm with child... it's yours.
Jack Sparrow: I don't remember...
Angelica: You were drunk.
Jack Sparrow: I don't think I've ever been that drunk.
Angelica: I love you, Jack.
Jack Sparrow: As do I. Always have, always will.
Jack Sparrow: You demonstrated a lot of technique for someone I apparently corrupted.
Salaman: You are either for us of against us!
Philip: I am neither with you, nor am I against you!
Salaman: [to Jack] Can he do that?
Jack Sparrow: He's religious, I believe it's required.
Jack Sparrow: You know the feeling you get when standing in a high place, the sudden urge to jump...
[looks over the cliff, as if considering jumping, then comes back to reality]
Jack Sparrow: I don't have it.
Jack Sparrow: If you have a Sister and a dog... I choose the Dog...
Gibbs: So the Pearl. Any idea on how to get her out?
Jack Sparrow: We shall need a crossbow, an hourglass, three goats, one of us must learn to play the trumpet, whilst the other one goes like this.
Gibbs: I know a man with a goat.
Jack Sparrow: Good, then I can go like this.
Syrena: Don't waste my tears.
Jack Sparrow: I support the Missionary's position.
Jack Sparrow: The Black Pearl in a bottle. Why is the Black Pearl in a bottle?
Jack Sparrow: [to king George II] You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?
Jack Sparrow: Captain, I wish to report a mutiny. I can name fingers and point names.
Jack Sparrow: I understand everything... except that wig.
Syrena: You're dying. I can save you, if you ask.
Philip: All I want is forgiveness for what I've done to you.
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