Who am I?

So "Who am I?" is one of those odd thought provoking questions that has consumed much of my life. Along with my favorite right now which is what do I want to be when I grow up? But who I am remains in many ways still somewhat of a mystery to me as I feel that I am still only exposed to part of me as I am still growing and still have so much to learn and I never really figured out who I am yet. I mean yeah I could list a lot of things I am. For instance I am a child of God, I am a christian, I am a senior Biochemistry and Psychology double major at Houghton college, I am a friend, I am a student manager, I am a follower, I am a sister, a daughter, granddaughter, animal lover, and the list goes on. I could also give you a much longer list of who I am not I am not an English major, a coffee drinker, chocolate eater, atheist, mechanic, perfectionist, etc. But somehow all this knowledge has never been able to quench my desire to know who I am to my entirety or what on earth was I put here for what is my purpose.

Out of this great insecurity, desire, quest or whatever you want to call it I have been putting off all my classwork to yes fill out more surveys that claim to give some insight as to who I am and what my skill set might imply I should become and I thought I would share them with you for laughs and for confirmation or possibly insight as I continue on somewhat of a never ending minor identity crisis.

My results were as follows....
You have strong distraction needs. Distraction entails Pleasure, Joking and Change. Those who score high on these needs are happy-go-lucky and fun seeking, but also careless. Since pleasure is their predominant quest, they don’t believe that life should be taken too seriously. To them, every day should be a holiday. They much prefer play to work and consider weekends and vacation time as the ultimate rewards. They are funny and enjoy laughing at their own practical jokes and clownish shows, especially at parties where they can entertain cheerful guests. These individuals need to break monotony by switching to new activities, such as weekend escapades or stimulating trips that will bring them new sensations and a change of scenery. They enjoy living one day at a time without bothering about tomorrow. They need fun, laughter and distraction.

And so far I am in agreement, although I have to admit that as much as I love being fun-loving and the joy that this attitude has had in my life as well as its ability to get me through so really rough spots, this is perhaps one of my greatest flaws as well. I say this as it is so easy for me to not take somethings as seriously as I ought to or not have the tendency to run off and explore the world when I have things I need to do here. I know life isn’t a game, so this is a balance I have learned that life is to be joyous and lived to the fullest but there is also an important role for work and responsibility that need not be forgotten. So although this may indeed me characteristic of me and who I am it fails to see the growth and balance I have learned and worked at to balance out my nature and better serve God.

For the next personality survey of the day I was found as follows
You have a strong passion and attraction to the aesthetic qualities of life; you greatly appreciate the beauty around you, whether in the form of nature’s masterpieces or man-made designs. We often forget that beauty can be found beyond what we see on the runway at a fashion show or on TV. By taking the time to explore the beauty in the world around you, you will develop a greater appreciation for the simple splendors in nature or the different facets of human creativity that we often take for granted!

This I do find quite characteristic of the Krista that God has made me to be, I really do like the simple things and just looking at a blue sky or the trees or the squirrel passing by or the toddler screaming across campus, or gazing up at the stars on a clear night or the sunsets! It is in those moments I am am able to really see beauty and see God, often in the smallest, perhaps even meaninless things to most people. That is where I see the details and know that God exist and know that, because he cares about all the tiniest details, he didn’t need to but did just so I could enjoy them. He made colors he made sunshine he made beauty in everything and it just never stops amazing me no matter how busy I get something little with come about and I will be reminded of his love and his beauty. I don’t need a deep profound insight all I need is a really pretty cloud or a rainbow and I have my theological fix for a while. It is also not the big things in life that really matter to me –usually but the little ones. Even how I fall in love with a friend, it is not because of how outrageously attractive they are or how sweet and sensitive they may be, but rather in the little things that they may never even know. Like the way they sit with me and make me laugh after a bad day or just smile as I pass them. That is what I love just having little things to admire …not the million dollar mansion but the little side window to glaze out at the beautiful creation of God.

More insight will soon follow ....